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J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin. Epic Rap Battles of History. Season 5 -
Published: 10 months ago By: ERB

By: ERBPublished: 10 months ago

20, 161, 757 views

375, 436 Likes   3, 594 Dislikes

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Watch the Behind the Scenes ►◄
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▼ CAST ▼
George R. R. Martin: EpicLLOYD

J. R. R. Tolkien: Nice Peter

John Bonham, John Paul Jones & Jimmy Page: Dante Cimadamore

Human Warrior & Orc: Joey Greer

Hodor: Ricky Mammone

Jon Snow: Rudy Fermin

Khaleesi: Ceciley Jenkins

Elves: Sulai Lopez & Shaun Lewin

▼ CREW ▼
Executive Producers:
Peter Shukoff and Lloyd Ahlquist

Directed by:
Nice Peter

Mike Bettete

Written by:
EpicLLOYD, Nice Peter, Mike Bettete, Zach Sherwin, Dante Cimadamore and Samantha Kellie

Senior Director of Studios:
Michelle Maloney

Production Coordinator:
Shaun Lewin

Song Produced by:
Nice Peter & Jose ""Choco"" Reynoso

Mixed by:
Nice Peter and Jose ""Choco"" Reynoso

Beat Produced by:
Epistra Beats

Video Editing by:
Andrew Sherman, Ryan Moulton and Nice Peter

Assistant Editor:
Josh Best

VFX and Compositing:
Andrew Sherman and Ryan Moulton

Additional VFX:
Javier Sánchez-Blanco Boyer

Director of Photography:
Jon Na

Costume Designer/Art Director:
Sulai Lopez

Costuming Assistant:
Catherine Charpentier

Department Make Up Head:
Tara Lang & Ashlyn McIntyre

Make Up:
Brittany White

Asst. Make Up:
Caitlyn Brisbin

Art Department:
Remmington Brimmer

Andrew Kurchinski

Kurt Schmidt

Music Supervisor/Playback:
Dante Cimadamore

Yev Belilovskiy & Andy Chinn

Production Assistant:
Atoki Ileka & Edrei Hutson

Matthew Ciampa

Produced by:
Atul Singh for Maker Studios


Jayden McAwsome
'Jayden McAwsome' 2 hours ago
R L stine vs Rick riordan
Jayden McAwsome
'Jayden McAwsome' 2 hours ago
rick riordan vs r l stine plz
Isaac Tan
'Isaac Tan' 3 hours ago
'Texxar' 6 hours ago
Tolkien won
Claudia Lalonde
'Claudia Lalonde' 8 hours ago
s/o to the makeup team i couldn't recognize lloyd for shit
'ExtraChannel1' 9 hours ago

[Verse 1: George R. R. Martin]
Brace yourself!
Gather up your trolls and your soldier Elves!
And your Ents and your Orcs and your Wargs and your Stings
Your Dwarves and Glamdrings
Cause there's a new literary Lord in the Ring!
My readers fall in love with every character I've written
Then I kill 'em (Aaaahhhh!) They're like 'No! He didn't!'
All your bad guys die, and your good guys survive!
We can tell what's gonna happen by page and age five!
Tell your all-seeing eye to find some sex in your movies (Yeah)
Ditch the Goonie, and cast a couple boobies!
There’s edgier plots in that David the Gnome
Your Hobbit-hole heroes can’t handle my throne

[Verse 2: J.R.R. Tolkien]
Kings, queens, dragons, dwarves
Horses, fortresses, magic and swords
You Hob-bit my whole shit, you uninspired hack
You want a war, George? Welcome to Shire-raq!
In book sales you’ve got nothing to say
I’m number one and two, you’re under Fifty Shades of Grey
I’ve got the prose of a pro, your shit’s subpar
You’re a pirate, you even stole my "R.R."
Oh, we all know the world is full of chance and anarchy
So yes, it’s true-to-life for characters to die randomly
But news flash, the genre’s called fantasy
It’s meant to be unrealistic, you myopic manatee

[Verse 3: George R.R. Martin]
I conscientiously object to what you’re doing on these beats
I’ll cut you like my teeth on Beauty and the Beast
You went too deep, Professor Tweed Pants
We don’t need the backstory on every fucking tree branch

[Verse 4: J.R.R. Tolkien]
I cut my teeth in the trenches of the Somme
You LARPed your Santa Claus ass through Vietnam
Man, it’s hard for me to take criticism on clothes
From a dude who sends a raven to say "Hi" to his toes

[Verse 5: George R.R. Martin]
Man, your fat jokes are worse than your pipe smoke
My show’s the hottest thing on H-B-O!
I’m rock and roll, you’re a nerdy little nebbish
And I may be dirty, but you got a hairy foot fetish, dawg
Even the names of your characters suck
You got Boffers and Bofurs and Brandybucks
I got a second breakfast for all them goofy fucks
Lift up my gut and tea-Baggins my nuts

[Verse 6: J.R.R. Tolkien]
C. S. Lewis and I were just discussing
How you and Jon Snow... both know nothing!
Because the backstory of my box office is billions
Got my children making millions off my Silmarillions
And I’m more rock and roll than you’ve ever been
Don’t believe me? Ask Led Zeppelin
You can’t reach this Fellow, shit, I’m Two Towering
(Ooh) Every time I battle, it’s Return of the King


Sam Pink
'Sam Pink' 11 hours ago
Is no one gonna talk about fucking Led Zeppelin.
Inferno Games
'Inferno Games' 12 hours ago
actually the battle of the somme was in world War 1 and fought by France and Germany so he wouldn't have been in it and that was a Mosin Nagant Which didn't come along until ww2
Callum Scott
'Callum Scott' 15 hours ago
'MaestroRigale' 16 hours ago
Tolkien, definitely.
Dr.Jimmy The Fish
'Dr.Jimmy The Fish' 16 hours ago
Do a rematch with Sean Bean at the end bemoaning his deaths by both their hands.
Tvoje máma
'Tvoje máma' 20 hours ago
Achileus vs. Hector
jose raul mata caliz
'jose raul mata caliz' 20 hours ago
Tolkien just smashed dirty santa.
Bug the Greifer
'Bug the Greifer' 21 hours ago
Tolkien won for sure.
Nur Ş.
'Nur Ş.' 1 day ago
Tolkien kicks ass.
dreas games
'dreas games' 1 day ago
how you and John snow, Both now nothing! thats fucking savage XD
Mohamed Amine Zouatnia
JRR Tolkien of course !! <3
IVan Gufin
'IVan Gufin' 1 day ago
Sapkowski vs Rowling
Caitlin Foster
'Caitlin Foster' 2 days ago
EpicLloyd never disappoints, even when he doesn't "win."
Jessica Carroll
'Jessica Carroll' 2 days ago
C.S Lewis vs J.K Rowling. MAKE IT HAPPEN!
'dshodaw' 2 days ago
Tolkien wins... anytime
'multiestonian' 2 days ago
Tolkien all the way.
'ShowToddSomeLove' 2 days ago
Martin wrote Season 5 which explains the death of ERBs dignity going full tumblr with jenner and douglass,
Marcel Zachary
'Marcel Zachary' 2 days ago
Tolkien rules LOTR still the best movies of the decade.Game of thrones is just lame yeah I said it haters get at me.
'chr12k6' 2 days ago
Who is the most impressive person? well, tolkien fought against hitler in ww1 where both were soldiers, tolkien for gb, hitler for austria/hungaria.
Who is the better writer? tolkien invented several languages and created the high fantasy, even after about 100 years his books are beein read.
who would rap better? tolkien was language professor, with some time he would craft an rap unseen to this day
Bionic Deathclaw
'Bionic Deathclaw' 2 days ago
Tolkien won the video, but ASOIAF makes all of Tolkien's books look like Twilight.
Dandy Animation
'Dandy Animation' 2 days ago
Tolkien destroyed him
melkor lapich
'melkor lapich' 2 days ago
by page and age five... there is never any mention of age five, it doesn't exist we can never predict Tolkien
'FreezingBreeze33' 3 days ago
E.B White vs R.L Stine
August Öström
'August Öström' 3 days ago
Tolkien is the OG. All else is derivative.
sven schneider
'sven schneider' 3 days ago
revange pls
Jacob Lonon
'Jacob Lonon' 3 days ago
"You can't reach this Fellow-shit, I'm Two Towering, and every time I battle it's Return of the King."

I have to respect those puns.
Miguel Rodriguez
'Miguel Rodriguez' 3 days ago
The both killed Sean Bean!
Richard El Diablo
'Richard El Diablo' 3 days ago
Tolkien fucked him up
'Shadbraw' 3 days ago
'spikeharusame' 3 days ago
Robert Frost vs. Dylan Thomas.
Peter Imegi
'Peter Imegi' 3 days ago
I am number one and two you are under fifty shades of grey ......dead XD
ichigo anime
'ichigo anime' 3 days ago
J. R. R. Tolkien
Daniel J. Mikołajewski
Tolkien totally conquered.
Riley G
'Riley G' 4 days ago
Catlyn Douglas
'Catlyn Douglas' 4 days ago
J R.R Tolkien totally beat George R.R Martin's ass
The Cartoonists Club
Tolkien won, obviously
М. Дөлгөөн
Uncle Sam Vs Mother Russia
Dylan Pelo
'Dylan Pelo' 4 days ago
@1:14 It's dark. Your likely to be eaten by a grue.
Monica Ingvaldsen
'Monica Ingvaldsen' 4 days ago
Tolkien wins
James Martin
'James Martin' 4 days ago
Martin had some lines for sure, but Tolkien won.
TheSkeleton King
'TheSkeleton King' 4 days ago
Anakin skywalker vs
'Lord_Tachanka' 4 days ago
Tolkien won
John Whitman
'John Whitman' 4 days ago
It was over with shiraq
'GreenYogaBall' 5 days ago
nazis vs stormtroopers
pulkiteswar tiwari
need a rap battle between captain America and Naruto
Cute Pikachu
'Cute Pikachu' 5 days ago
Do God Vs. Devil
Ross Dominguez
'Ross Dominguez' 5 days ago
Christian grey v. anastasia would be funny as fuck
Tyrion vs. Gimli
'iEiGhT_PaTHz' 5 days ago
lift up my gut and tea baggins my nuts lmaoo
Anıl Erarslan
'Anıl Erarslan' 5 days ago
Tree Jumper
'Tree Jumper' 5 days ago
Tolkien won
Jonathan Sload
'Jonathan Sload' 5 days ago
"All your bad guys die and your good guys survive." Turin Turambar wants his family back.
Catlyn Douglas
'Catlyn Douglas' 5 days ago
maybe that's because I love Lord Of Rings.😀😀
Catlyn Douglas
'Catlyn Douglas' 5 days ago
I think J.R.R Tolkien beat George R.R. Martin's ass.
james Villebrun
'james Villebrun' 6 days ago
'k2d10tode11' 6 days ago
this is just great!
i think my 2nd best is eastern vs western philosophers
Marc Romero Estonllo
Tolkien wins hard Led Zeppelin too much
Maks Bartczak
'Maks Bartczak' 6 days ago
General Diaz
'General Diaz' 6 days ago
Tolkien vaporized Martin
'kaiyos' 6 days ago
LOTR is better than the other one....
Maluco Nopedaço
'Maluco Nopedaço' 6 days ago
Nice peter is so fucking good , lov this dude
Max OfRivia
'Max OfRivia' 6 days ago
Cooper Wheat
'Cooper Wheat' 6 days ago
Jk Rowling vs the Narnia author
Tyler Worrell
'Tyler Worrell' 7 days ago
JRR Tokin' won that one for sure, you mother fucking bitch ass sweater wearing Iranians. #GoatHerders
Tolkien instantly won just by having songs about LOT by Led Zeppelin, Martin had South Park do a song about floppy weiners.
some one
'some one' 7 days ago
jrr tolkien is a woman and obviously the minions from despicable me vs stormtroopers
some one
'some one' 7 days ago
two things
bill clubbe
'bill clubbe' 7 days ago
20051311 views ha i have watched less them i though
Ilia Bobkin
'Ilia Bobkin' 1 week ago
Tolkien sure, who can disagree. Let the King return.
emerlad blade
'emerlad blade' 1 week ago
tolkien won
this is murdering what tolkien did.
Justin Walthrop
'Justin Walthrop' 1 week ago
"evert me I battle it's return of the King" that's great :)
the triforce charmander
rip hodor
'HTE-S' 1 week ago
tea baggins my nuts? omfg lol
Tiger Vigesaa
'Tiger Vigesaa' 1 week ago
J rr Tolkien
'lynxiee' 1 week ago
ask led zeppelin <3
no question
AmazingSB1000 Amazing
Jrr Tolkien
Elstree 93
'Elstree 93' 1 week ago
Tolkien 100%
Graciel Kelly
'Graciel Kelly' 1 week ago
still no Lovecraft.
Taylor Webb
'Taylor Webb' 1 week ago
R2D2 vs. 3CPO
Finia Heckhausen
'Finia Heckhausen' 1 week ago
J.R.R. Martin
King Jey
'King Jey' 1 week ago
Trump vs. putien
Ionuț Stiopei
'Ionuț Stiopei' 1 week ago
I want see J.R.R. Tolkien vs J.K. Rowling
Silas Warren
'Silas Warren' 1 week ago
Stephen Crane
'Stephen Crane' 1 week ago
It's a fricken war cry of Anglo saxon pride!
Sprocket Magnifique
You should do Sherlock Holmes vs. Hercule Poirot!
Zachary Gilmore
'Zachary Gilmore' 1 week ago
"You don't believe me!? I'm Two Towering! Every time I battle, it's Return of the King!" That line won the day.
Tim Carney
'Tim Carney' 1 week ago
Stoic Observer
'Stoic Observer' 1 week ago
Tolkien.... you RR the man!
Chris Champagne
'Chris Champagne' 1 week ago
Do Jules Verne vs H.G. Wells
Erik Karlsson
'Erik Karlsson' 1 week ago
Tolkien won
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